A friend of mine recently came to me …her heart so hurt that it was beyond words. A simple statement… We broke up yesterday…
I didn’t try push her to tell me the story when she was ready she would tell me and when she finally did it infuriated me so much I couldn’t think.
The previous week a similar situation, also a close friend and the story repeated itself. I found them together… I read their messages.
Now I’ve always been a firm believer in what I don’t know won’t hurt me especially in matters heart but sadly sometimes the truth is flung right at your doorstep and you have to look at it. Face it. Decide what you want with it and finally follow through with your decision.
Today though I will not stand to look all flawless before the eyes of men and God and pretend to be the most self righteous of us all. I would be lying. And isn’t that what cheating is all about.
You see, it doesn’t matter whether it has a ring on it or not. He who has been claimed by another should not be coveted. A commandment God stated and a rather important one. Our generation has gotten so into the trap of relationships and courtships that more or less mirror marriage so much that nowadays vows are just that…A legal documentation of what has been transpiring for ages. Hence the ideology that they aren’t yet married really doesn’t hold water. And that you are “just trying your luck” is all if you ask me…fair yes but if it crosses set barriers then its just crap as well.
Forgive me for my digression, when my girlfriend came and told me that the boyfriend had cheated on her. I was mad! Furious even! I couldn’t believe who would do that to someone and why .. and then I stopped and looked at myself at the many emotional connections I had that were so deep rooted that they could be called an emotional bond…A relationship so to speak a..marriage of it’s sort. And this come in to hinder real growth between a man and his partner and vice versa so much so that they begin to drift mainly because they don’t have much to talk about anymore . (Reason :the stories have been shared to someone else)
I considered the Times in the past that I had fallen into or rather allowed myself to be swallowed by the joys of the physical…making out and all that simply because It felt right and anyway I didn’t know the girlfriend. And they weren’t married so what harm would it cause ?
Seeing my closest friend so hurt, withdrawn and the previous week my best friend broken by the betrayal made me realize just what an animal I was. On one hand busy judging others while on the other unknowingly but knowingly breaking relationships …breaking people’s hearts. And it scared me that I had done that to someone. Hurt them as bad as my girlfriend had been hurt …broken someone as my best friend had been broken. It killed me that I would be that vile. And for the next few days couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I come today to speak to those who our actions help in breaking hearts and laying relationships asunder. It is not right.
It hurts them even when they don’t know. And hurts them more when they do.
I won’t ask much of you but to look into your heart and see whether if that girl or that boy were yours…you would want him doing the same thing. To see whether If that husband or that wife were yours you would enjoy it if they were acting as you were.
It creates nothing but contempt to be honest and constant jealousy and mistrust as well as always looking into your shoulder to see whether you are being watched. And whether your partner Is doing the same to you. And because it is what you know you keep expecting that of them and finally they cave and actually cheat so that your accusations are finally true.
It’s not worth it.
And for all those whom I may have hurt in this way or helped in breaking …I am truly sorry. You deserve better for you are better. I only pray that joy, goodness love, peace and patience may fill your hearts . That your love will know no bounds and your blessings shall overflow. I also pray that you forgive me.
For the ones I helped in breaking and hurting others I am sorry too for any temptation ” thou shall not make a brother fall” and I did and I’m sorry .
Forgive me too
But above all I thank God that He showed me my wrong albeit through the pain of those I love and I ask for His forgiveness too and to thank Him that in deed it is never too late. And He always comes back for His own.
For anyone out there hurting and in pain. I am sorry. Like I said you deserve better. Look upon God for healing and release all that anger and pain away if only to save your soul and your peace of mind. All will be well.
All is well
Hugs and kisses
And from the depth of my heart