Christian · Family · My Purity Journey · Relationships and Love

day 1: understanding my why

Wow, it’s been a day that I cannot explain. When I write day 1 there I do not mean well, that I have stopped well….you know  what I mean.

I have chosen to go through a path of understanding my why. whyFor I believe understanding why you are doing something not only helps you to focus and set achievable goals but also is your fall back when things get difficult.

Today we started a series of love, sex and relationships in church. Deliberately I chose to take the conversation in that direction because to be honest so many people struggle and none talk about it because I think they feel that its something to hide. What is exposed to the light I believe can be corrected even if that light is only before you and God. Even acknowledging it before a mirror allows you to face it and reawaken the Spiritual eyes and senses so well suppressed by years of guilt, meaningless music and TV shows that really makes you feel like its okay, well it’s not. It really isn’t.

So while discussing different views came up, chief among them that its important to test drive and gain experience. Also that ladies who date one person, marry one person are bound to be curious if at all they made the right choice later on, which would lead to cheating, I don’t know how many of you out there share the same view 🙂

In a different conversation with a close and old pal of mine, the same issue of purity came up and she said something that really just struck me to the core, that it’s really not about the physical, I mean we all get tempted. But the mindset. She gave me an apt example that if your mind is preoccupied with making out then that’s all it will cultivate to find, finding ways of making the act possible, and we all know man is progressive…right?

She also painted for me two scenarios, which would you believe have refused to paste here (Shetani ashindwe! ~may the devil be defeataed in  Swahili) of two believers who love the Lord.

Allow me to quote her:

  1. “I’m walking with God. He’s my source and I’m both receiving and channeling His love. I’m abiding in His word and His word in me is governing every aspect of my life: desires, decisions, dreams deliberations… Here, purity is a culture and it’s in every aspect of life. It’s in my motives, thoughts and actions….

2.I’m walking with God but I am not receiving His love maybe coz of a hurtful past/family history. So I don’t quite have a good relationship with the word, thus my life is governed by the experiences I’ve had, pain and secular media.

In the second scenario, there’s an issue of source which consequently affects every area of my life

In both scenarios the source determines the life outcome and culture.

To both, temptation will come

But response will be different

That we are tempted doesn’t mean that we give in

So daily I need to choose what will be my source: the word or the world

Whatever I choose will govern my struggle as well as victory”


I don’t think there is much I can add without diluting the content, her words struck me though, at the core, whom am I serving, rather whom am I listening to? The Word or the World? Whom are you listening to?







6 thoughts on “day 1: understanding my why

  1. Anyone who believes having sex with multiple partners before marriage will reduce temptation later is fooling themselves. You’re right, temptation comes to everyone, regardless of level of experience, so focusing on God is your true “safety net” there.


  2. One scary comment from the Bible is with every partner you create a bond that makes you one.. With this view in mind by the time one gets to their spouse you have to break all this links you made with others to actually have the one link with ur spouse. And maybe we should treating sex as a partners game, we don’t find on who plays best but one who we can play with best… Its never about sex but what you share with your partner and when that is formed then sex like any other skill can be built best to suit the both of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi there,
    Thank you for sharing with us. It’s a struggle alright. It’s also something that I am personally dealing with and it’s not easy.
    Your friend is right. It doesn’t start from the physical. All actions begin from thoughts. So yeah how you handle your temptation stems from your foundation. You can’t give what you don’t have nor can you serve more than one master at a time.

    There’s no easy fix though. So with that in mind I urge you on. Don’t depend on yourself either. That’s one sure way to fall. But depend on Him.

    Food for thought though, would all this go away if you just got married? Is it as simple as that ?

    Rom. 12.1-3

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the wise insights and for even reading Taz. Don’t depend on yourself…I like that. Cause i don’t think i would make it alone.

      About the marriage, i don’t know, maybe therein lies bigger problems, but i am willing to wait to find out and to learn more while at it.

      Thank you so much! rom 12:3 really hit home


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