There used to be a season in my life where I lived for others. And not in the good Christian self sacrificing way for the benefit of others… although I lied to myself in many respects that I did that as well, but no. I mean I lived for the accolades of others. Their applause, their acceptance, validation and all things related. Oh the chains….
It is one thing to be held hostage behind bars that you can hold. Bars that your hands have daily caressed and sometimes strangled in an effort to break through, and bars whose familiar metallic taste you’ve spit from your mouth as you tried to break out. And now all your failed efforts have you resigned to a corner , counting days till your release. It is a prison; yes; but a physical Prison that at least comes with a release date.
A mental prison is something else altogether. It is a place of nothingness. Simply because for years you fool yourself, boldly unaware of how caged you are, as all the chains lie behind the shadows.
Mental prisons are many, “Do they like me?” “Will I look much cooler if I do this? Say this? What’s the new fashion trend? Perhaps if I drink, smoke, gamble, act wild or do whatever the hell that seems to unite them they’ll let me in? And How much more of this bullshit do I have to do to finally feel like I fit in??” Oh the endless, needless thoughts, screaming at your head as you struggle to do everything right, be picture perfect, smile, not show so many teeth, perhaps if I angle my neck, perhaps if I chose this career, then I look better? Sound better? Idiocity!
To look at your world through the tainted, backwash painted mirror of a broken people as the gold standard of normal, and refuse to go beyond average to “fit in”
(Yes that’s not a word but I am going to use it anyway. )
It makes zero sense to measure yourself against anyone but yourself.
It makes zero sense to take someone’s TOTALLY different path and somehow imagine that you have to use their set ways to get to your Own.
Yet every day…. We do this.
Okay maybe not you…
Maybe just me.
Because I was the only one foolish enough to have ever done that. But it is folly.
Folly is taking your 4C hair and comparing it to 3B hair and calling yours Bad. Folly is seeing a pediatrician gently handling a baby and criticising the orthopedic for manipulating a broken femur. Folly is seeing a friend get a car and taking a loan to also have one. Folly is seeing your friends marry/ get engaged and rushing through the next thing that breathes to measure up.
Folly is comparing two journeys that have nothing to do with each other.. to a destination that is as far as the East is to the West and anticipating an equal metric. It is both insensible and Stupid.
I can write loads on self love, self worth and I intend to, with time.
But today my heart has rested on this truth.
That it makes no sense for me to compare my journey to yours. Or yours to mine. It absolutely adds no value.
But it also makes no sense for me to cringe in cowardice to try and fit in. Absolutely zero sense.
So as I break out from prison I hope to shed light on it and perhaps you can make your own escape.
And I know this post is unlike most and that perhaps I should have filtered it. Used kinder words. Be a little gentle. But not today.
Today it comes out as it was in my heart.
Raw and uncut.
So perhaps do yourself a favour and just Stop!
Imagine just STOP!
Stop trying to please the masses who really don’t care about you. I mean they have their own lives to live. Stop trying to lower your standards to fit into status quo for the sake of temporary acceptance, they forget as soon as you walk out the door and you struggle for years trying to catch up on a path you were never meant to take in the first place.
Stop trying to eat a certain way, dress a certain way, dance a certain way, drink a certain, for Pete’s sake even breathe a certain way to fit in.
You were never meant to fit in my love.
It was never your purpose.
Dare to be Different. Not a Rebel. No. Just uniquely you. We are sick and tired of the copy cats parading themselves as the Royal Gate Keepers of Societal Norms and Standards.
We don’t need yet another look alike.
You is Good enough! You might be all we need to believe in life again.
You are Enough.
So challenge you. Grow you. Be You. And for the Love of God, Do you! As He equips you. Then step aside and see how much Good you did.